Hello Friends,
Well as you know I have 5 kiddos that range in ages from 19 to 4 so I've been in the teen years for quite awhile with the end far off in the distance (once I start to get one out of the crazy teen years here comes the next one). I'm the kind of mom most kids would describe as crazy strict however I'm not here to be your bestie I'm here to be your parent. God intrusted you to me to teach and guide you so in addition to all my teaching I've put my kids in a heavy duty bubble. To help you understand the degree of this bubble I have created let me explain some household rules my kids are required to follow.
1. No social media and I mean none no Facebook, no Instagram, no tiktok, no snapchat, and no other apps that allow posting of yourself or private conversations. YouTube is allowed but you can't post videos and I will check search histories if need be. I also have allowed Pinterest but only if you are following rules its a privilege that can be lost. This rule remains until you are 18 and graduated both have to be accomplished to be granted permission to use social media.
2. No iPhones only android the reason for this is I have an app called MMGuardian (and no I get nothing for recommending them well unless they see this and want to hint hint I do sing your praises to every parent who will listen). All the features of the app are available on the android version but the apple version has very limited features. With this app I have full control over their phones from my phone. I can set time limits, bedtimes and wake times, manually lock their phone, see all text messages (even if they delete them), control what apps they have on their phones, I get notifications on any inappropriate pictures they take or receive, notifications of any talk of sex, drugs, violence, pregnancy, and suicide, I also can put a list of code words and I will get a notification anytime those words are used, I can track their location with the speed they are going if they are on the move, block people from contacting them, put an age group for the content they search on the browser, and they can send an sos straight to my phone which alerts me with a message as well as their exact location. So as you can see if you have a cell phone I am going to know everything. And ok for those parents that don't believe in being all up in your kids business they do have some privacy unless its warranted. Hello I have 4 kids with phones and you know how much kids text I don't sit up at night reading all of their text messages I would never sleep. I only read them if I get a notification of one of the dangers or one of my code words I've put in or if you're acting really guilty or suspicious the girls will have it written all over their face when they are up to something and give way to many details and explanation our teenage son however acts no different luckily for me he has never had much interest in disobeying with the exception of staying up all night on his xbox or on his phone (the time limits were the main feature we used with him).
3. No going to any friends house unless I have had a chance to talk to their parents.
4. If you have a drivers license no one is allowed in your car but family (siblings, cousins, and such) unless cleared with me and so far Ive only made a couple of exceptions and allowed a friend to ride with them. Like wise you are not allowed to ride in anyone's car that I do not permit and I do not permit any other teenagers driving them around (haven't so far).
5. No cussing even if its in a song you're singing you skip that word. Likewise I don't allow really vulgore music to be listen to.
6. If you get your driver's license and are a girl birth control is mandatory (because lets face it teenagers break rules). I also have a tracker in their car from 16 to 18 that not only tells me where they are but how fast they are driving, if they are braking hard, if they sit idle for to long, and of course sends me notifications of an accident (Bouncie is the tracker if you're curious and no just like the other its just my personal opinion).
7. Family time is a must we eat dinner together no matter how late it gets unless a teenager is working that evening we don't wait. Up until the last year if a sibling had a function everyone had to go to support that child unless they had to work they didn't have to take off for a siblings soccer game.
8. Lying is the worst offence I would rather you tell me something horrible than to lie to me (though they have all done it well except the 4 year old but his time is coming).
9. No dating (going out somewhere with someone) until you're 18. You are allowed to have him or her over but you stay in public areas of the house and I of course am home. I have made a couple of exceptions and allowed them to go to the other persons house but only after talking with the parents to be sure we have the same rules.
So as you can see I am all up in my kid's business and control most things they do. They are free to be their own person with their own style and hobbies. So as we have 2 that are 19 I am finding it hard to let go to let them make their own decisions. I am the overbearing parent that I am because I want to shield them from making mistakes they will regret and of course keep them safe. The rules of course didn't start out this strict but when a child does something to warrant a rule is created. We have extensive conversations about why we have these rules and the behavior and standards we have. In today's society Satan is running wild in our school system and infecting our children from all angles. It makes it very difficult for our children to say no and stand up for what they believe so I make it easier for them when their friends are asking something of them they get to blame me and say I just don't want to get in trouble and loose my phone and other privileges its not worth it. So far my method is working 2 down 3 to go. Our 19 year old daughter is a hard worker, modest, private, and has no problem telling others what she thinks. Our 19 year old son is at a Christian college and is dedicated to making a difference there with everything he does sometimes I worry he is taking on to much. Hope you have found this post informitive or reassuring whether you're a new mom of a teen and looking for direction or struggling to hold firm to your own teen rules and wanted some comfort knowing there are others dealing with the same issues.
May God Bless You!
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